Our Mother was full of life till the day she passed

by Rhonda Torres
(Sacramento CA.)

Our mother lost life to bladder cancer, she was to have surgery it removed and reconstruction of a colostomy bag put on the outside of her stomach area. When she woke up from the surgery and was told they could remove the bladder because it had spread to her lymph nodes. She was very upset; I had never seen her react that way, she knew is meant cancer had spread. It was the first and only time she showed fear from the cancer, but she apologized for crying. As time passed she was right, time after time we were reminded of her words "why didn't they take it any way". Because she started to bleed from the bladder in a week she lost 3pints. The Dr. would find the area of the tumor bleeding to stop it. This went on for months and the last month it was every week. She never wanted to hear the words from any Doctor, telling her she only had 13 months; she didn't believe mankind can tell you when your time of death is. So my two other sister's and I would be told what the prognosis. She would just light up like a Christmas tree when her family was around, and never ever hesitated to brag about how good her kids are to their parents. There were many scheduled an unscheduled appointments to ER. I wouldn't leave the hospital and my sisters would get made, but I know I was running out time, and every second I could be with her was my blessing. She was unbelievable strong for us and my dad. Her feeling never mattered because she never talks about dying; she never complained of pain, she too took each day as a blessing given from our maker.
She would tell each of us kids to stay close and love each other, and to never forget what a unique family we have. Always stay together and to be strong, and we made her that promise, but I did tell her the odds would be against us without her. She helped me get through breast cancer and when my oldest son died. She and my husband brought me through those horrible years. She sat next to me and made me promise her I'd be ok and continue living being strong. I was selfish and said I'm so afraid of going through that pain again, like when I lost my oldest son. My mom was our rock she kept us together, never fighting; made sure we celebrated all the holidays together and birthdays. I was told by my sister that my mom would cry and say it should be me going through the cancer not my daughter, I really believe she carried her bladder cancers thinking its better she did then one of her children.
I am so lost without my best friend and my mom. I still reach for the telephone to call and tell her some exciting news, but she not there to answer. We we're just blessed with our baby Jorge Gabriel Jr., our mom knew coming, and he made my youngest sister a grandma for the first time. I know my mom knew this child would help fill those voids for her. My second sister found out she's going to be a grandma for the first time, and I know moms thanking god for that blessing. And now I've already been blessed with two grandsons that remind me of my son that past on, but I was just told by my youngest son, I am going to be a grandma again I know it?s a little girl and I know our mom and dad know all this first hand from God.
I know we have to go one with our lives, we have no other choice, and we'll always remember my mother's magically love and wisdom to pass on to new member to come into our family.
We're now older orphans now ranging from 42, to 55. We?ve all been blessed with children and grandchildren, and my parents being made great grandchildren. It is very tough knowing you have to go on because we all have responsibilities, which we must live on in their wisdom and repect them.